


A World Without

by LearnedFoot



Series: Peter/Tony Ficlets and Drabbles [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Drabble Sequence, Fix-It Implied, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, POV Peter Parker, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-05-31 09:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LearnedFoot/pseuds/LearnedFoot
Summary: Peter tries to live in a world without Tony Stark.





	A World Without

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unforgotten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforgotten/gifts).



> A treat <3

He can barely see when it happens, tears and sweat stinging his eyes. It doesn’t feel real.

It keeps not feeling real as he stumbles through Strange’s portal into May’s arms, sobbing. 

Later, she takes his hand, assures him he’ll get through it. “You survived your parents, and Ben.”

Except this is a different kind of pain: aching, bone-deep longing for something he never had. Never will have, now.

It doesn’t feel real, and he’s not sure he _can_ survive it.

But he can’t say that, so he tells a different truth: “I just can’t imagine a world without him.”

***

Mr. Stark leaves him a trust fund. He leaves him his suit, blueprints for more, his own lab to design in.

Most importantly, he leaves a video message. His image, perched on a chair, voice breaking as he says, “Kid, you’re brilliant and brave, and so much better than I could ever hope to be. Forget what I would or wouldn’t do. Do what _you’d_ do. It will always be the right choice.”

“What if all I want to do is see you again?” Peter asks the frozen image at the end of the message.

It doesn’t have an answer.

***

On Mr. Stark’s birthday, Peter goes to his grave. He shouldn’t be surprised to find Colonel Rhodes already there. He _definitely_ shouldn’t resent his presence.

After minutes of awkward silence, he starts to wonder if he’s the one who’s intruding. What claim does he have to this spot, compared to Mr. Stark’s oldest friend? His particular brand of pain doesn’t make him special.

Then Colonel Rhodes clears his throat. “You old enough to grab a beer?”

“No?”

“A coke, then? I could use the company.”

So they swap stories. They laugh.

But Peter still cries himself to sleep that night.

***

On the anniversary of Thanos’s defeat, the Avengers gather, to celebrate and remember.

Captain Rogers corners Peter. “Queens, we’re worried about you. At some point, you have to move on.”

Peter looks him over pointedly. “Did you?”

“I got lucky. Really lucky. Most people don’t.”

The conversation niggles at Peter for weeks. He’s always been the opposite of lucky, but why does that mean he should move on? A year later, it still doesn’t feel real. He really hates the world without Tony Stark.

So he makes a choice: he’ll create his own luck.

He’s going to bring him back.


End file.
